The child's social development | children's psychology

 The first social stages


Children's first social stages

Often children are affectionate and cooperative from an early age - a delightfully disarming attitude for adults. But is it an innate or environmentally induced attitude? Let's try to understand together .. Here is a brief summary on the social stages of the child from the first months to after 2 years:

AFTER BIRTH AND UP TO 7-9 MONTHS, the baby has no possibility of 'sympathizing' with his fellow men, as he does not perceive himself as being autonomous but as something undifferentiated from his mother (especially during the first 2 months, the newborn perceives himself as an extension of the mother herself). And when he begins to realize his uniqueness, he initially feels a sense of anxiety and insecurity that manifests itself with fear of strangers (which usually appears around the 8th month).

THEN, TOWARDS THE YEAR OF LIFE, crawling and the first steps physically distance him from his parents, allowing him to savor small sips of autonomy. An awareness of oneself and of one's resources that is strengthened in the following months, offering him the emotional tools to empathize with others and feel their difficulties (for example, comforting a crying peer with a caress).

AFTER 2 YEARS, the relationship with others is developed to the point that the child always stops playing alone. He is very fond of collective activities and is friendly with his teammates, but he has now entered the phase in which he is ready to defend his spaces and objects he owns even at the cost of using hard manners. In this phase, the child's thinking is characterized by egocentrism:   the child is unable to perceive the difference between his point of view and that of others. He uses the information at his disposal aimed at satisfying his needs, as if they had an absolute, universal value, the same for everyone.

How subjective becomes objective for the child?

It is not possible for the child to consider points of view and knowledge other than his own. Therefore it is normal for the little one to perceive objects as: "what is mine is mine, what is yours is mine". By observing the transactions between children up to 3 years of age in a public park, or in a nursery, it is possible to observe "private language". It is a form of monologue quite understandable from the linguistic point of view, but ineffective from the point of view of communication. He does not care that other children understand his speech and is disinterested in what others say. In children these are absolutely normal phenomena.

How much does 'society' affect the child's social development?

Undoubtedly, each child taken individually is influenced and modified by the cultural environment in which he grows up. On the other hand, whenever we attribute a change in human nature to 'society', we risk exchanging cause for effect: it is the human being himself who determines the rules, and whether our species has developed an education. which encourages us to be, if not selfish, at least individualistic, there will be a reason.

Some scholars have observed how infantile selfishness appears after 2 years of age,  as it is a real 'attempt' to counterbalance the biological tendency of children to help their fellow men: developmental psychologists, in fact, believe that the reversal of roles - the phenomenon whereby it is the child who takes care of the adult in difficulty - is the basis of serious imbalances in growth.

Anthropologists are inclined to attribute the innate human capacity to cooperate to tens of millennia of ... training. Our ancestors, hunters, and gatherers were gathered in small nuclei and depended on each other for survival to such an extent that, as more than one scholar claims, we basically evolved in an altruistic direction as we had no other choice. The individualism that appears with age is nothing more than a form of defense against members of other 'tribes', since prehistoric times we have been led to give our best socially within small groups (which today, especially in large cities, they coincide with the family nucleus).


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